Graffiti, an ice pick, an SVU. What do all these things have in common? If not the film Basic Instinct, then surely Madonna. Such were the instruments of terror a fan used to convey his appreciation for Madonna’s music last September, when he parked outside her New York apartment spray-painting messages of love on street signs and begging her to be with him. It’s a tempting offer, but considering the fact that (brace yourself to feel old) Madonna’s pushing mid-50s he might want to invest in a younger pop star. I hear Rebecca Black is single and might turn 18 this decade.